Hitbodedut — Being Alone with God

P E N I M A H · T U R N I N G  I N W A R D     |  SESSION THREE   

Cheshbon HaNefesh

חֶשְּבוֹן הַנֶּפשׁ  · 

Accounting of the Soul- Eight Chapter of Duties of the Heart

Rabbeinu Bahia Ibn Pakuda

·  Study Sheet for Penimah Session 3

Hitbodedut — Being Alone with God הִתבוֹדְדוּת

What the word means

Hitbodedut literally means self-isolation — the deliberate act of separating from the company of others in order to be alone with God. The practice is older than the term. Abraham wandering through the mountain. Isaac meditation in the field. Moses forty days at Horeb — whose very name means desolation. The Psalmists. Jeremiah. The prophets who felt called to a solitary life of dedication in order to hear God’s word. The Dead Sea Scrolls community at Qumran held individual pursuit of God and communal life alongside each other, each in its proper place.

Backhya ibn Paquda codified the practice and gave it this name in the eleventh century, writing in a world where Sufi meditation was part of the cultural air he breathed. His enthusiasm for what he was describing is unmistakable.

Backhya ibn Paquda — Duties of the Heart, Eighth Treatise, 3:145–147:“In truth, this is the complete separation and the perfect solitude — hibodedut hagmurah v’hayechidut hashelemah. For the soul alone with God is the soul in its most essential state.”

Summary:

If the believer will constantly meditate on the fact that the Creator sees all his thoughts and deeds, and will think it over with his own soul, the Creator will be constantly with him, and he will see Him with his mind’s eye, and be in constant awe and reverence of Him; and he will examine all his conduct. And when this has become a constant habit of his mind, he will, helped by G-d, have reached the highest degree of the pious ones, and the most exalted rank of the righteous. He will not lack anything; nor will he choose anything more than the Creator has chosen for him. His will depends upon the will of the Creator, and his love on the love of the Creator; and that is loved by him which He loves, and that is contemned by him which is contemned by the Creator. 

A man should commune with himself in reference to the desires of his heart and his worldly tastes; and a careful consideration of the ends they serve will lead him to look with contempt on ephemeral possessions; and his thoughts and desires will be fixed on the highest good, and on what is of eternal value to his mind and soul; and he will learn to strive only for what is barely necessary of the things of this world. He will desire to be kept from both poverty and riches, so that he may have enough for simple healthy life; and he will yearn after wisdom and spiritual possessions, of which no one can rob him. 

Another subject for self-communing is the question as to whether we have made proper provision for the journey we must one day make, to another world, just as a traveller does not wait till he is on a journey before making provision for his necessities while travelling. 

Another subject that should not be neglected, in the communing with one’s own soul, is the inclination of the soul to seek the fellowship of the sons of men and the advantages of solitude and of separation from men, and the evil of associating ourselves with their follies when we are not forced to do so. Too much talking is calculated to lead to the talking of slander and the telling of lies, and even to the taking of false oaths. One of the Chassidim said to his disciples: “The Torah permits our swearing by the name of the Creator to what is true, but I counsel you not to take an oath by the holy name of G-d, whether to the truth or to a lie. Say simply ‘Yes,’ or ‘No.’ Too much social intercourse also leads to boasting and displaying one’s knowledge. 

The pure of heart will always love solitude. But here again the temptation to complete solitude must also be guarded against. For the society of philosophers, the pious, and of great men, is of great advantage. 

One should also consider well, in communing with his soul, whether he has made the best use of any wealth that he may possess, doing good with it. And he should meditate also on the many ways in which one man can help another; and consider that he should love for others what he loves for himself, and hate for others what he hates for himself, rejoicing in their joy and grieving at their sorrow. And he should be full of compassion for them, and ward off from them, to the utmost of his power, anything that may injure them; as it is said (Levit. xix.), “And thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” 

Forms of hitbodedut across the tradition

The Kabbalistic StreamRabbi Abraham Abulafia (13th century) and his followers developed visualised meditation techniques of great skill. For them hitbodedut meant concentration on sacred images and the letters of prayer. Some Hasidic masters continued in this path.

The Bratslav StreamRabbi Nachman of Bratslav (1772–1810) insisted on the spoken form: spontaneous personal prayer in whatever language the heart knows best, for one hour each day. The purpose, he taught, is to break the heart open — for only in the wholeness of knowing our brokenness can we come into God’s presence.

The Contemporary RevivalMeditation is being revived in our day as part of Jewish spiritual life. Ancient techniques are being simplified and updated. Methods of concentration and mindfulness from outside Judaism are also being brought in. All this is part of our generation’s effort to make the Judaism we hand on to the future richer in this area than it has ever been.

Rabbi Nachman of Bratslav — Likutei Moharan II:25:“It is very good to pour out your speech before God, like a child pleading before his father. God calls to you: ‘My son, my daughter — speak to me.’ For this is the essence of hitbodedut: to designate an hour or more each day to be alone, and to speak before God in the vernacular language, in whatever language you are accustomed to speak — pouring forth all that is in your heart.”

The Thirteen Traits of Cheshbon HaNefeshR. Menachem Mendel Lefin · Published 1808 · Lvov, Ukraine

The method is straightforward: work on one trait per week for four complete cycles each year. Keep a personal journal. Observe where the trait appears — or fails to appear — in your ordinary day. The practice builds slowly. Lefin, following Franklin, understood that sustained attention over time changes the soul more reliably than grand resolutions.

#	Hebrew	Trait	What It Means in Practice
1	מְנוּחַת הַנֶּפֶשׁ	Equanimity	Achieving a settled, balanced inner life — the foundation of all other traits. Do not be excessively happy or distressed by circumstances.
2	סַבְלָנוּת	Tolerance / Patience	Cultivating the ability to listen and bear difficulty without reacting impulsively. Growing pains lead to knowing gains.
3	סֵדֶר	Order	Allocating proper time for every activity; living with structure and integrity. Showing up fully for each thing in its time.
4	חָרִיצוּת	Decisiveness	Making clear decisions and acting on them. Avoiding the paralysis of endless deliberation and the entropy of vagueness.
5	נְקִיּוּת	Cleanliness	Purity of body, surroundings, speech and thought. External order reflects and supports inner clarity.
6	עֲנָוָה	Humility	Knowing one’s place before God and other people. Not self-deprecation — accurate self-knowledge without inflation or deflation.
7	מְאִיסָה בָּרַע	Frugality	Taking no more than what is necessary. Guarding against the slow accumulation of the superfluous in all areas of life.
8	שִׁתִּיקָה	Silence	Speaking only what is necessary and true. Guarding the mouth against idle speech, gossip and words spoken without purpose.
9	אֶמֶת	Truth	Honesty in word, thought and deed. Aligning what we say, what we think and what we do.
10	בִּטָּחוֹן	Trust / Bitachon	Resting the heart upon God rather than upon finite things. The internal posture of confidence in divine care.
11	פְּרִישׁוּת	Separation	Maintaining appropriate distance from harmful influences and temptations. Choosing what enters the mind and heart.
12	שִׂנְאַת בָּצַע	Aversion to Greed	Resisting the pull toward material accumulation for its own sake. What we hold lightly, we hold freely.
13	עֲמִידָה עַל הָאֱמֶת	Standing on Truth	Integrity under pressure. Maintaining one’s convictions even when it is costly or unpopular to do so.

The Connection to HitbodedutHow these practices speak to each other

Hitbodedut and Cheshbon HaNefesh are complementary, not competing. Hitbodedut creates the inner space; Cheshbon HaNefesh gives that space content and direction.

The silence (Sessions 3-4):  Hitbodedut teaches us to enter the quiet — to descend beneath the noise to where the soul is present to itself and to God. This is the ground.

The link between them — Equanimity (מְנוּחָה):  Lefin places equanimity first among his thirteen traits — the same word Bachya uses for bitachon: menuchah, repose. Both teachers are pointing at the same ground state. The soul at rest is the soul in its natural condition. Everything else is built on that.

R. Menachem Mendel Lefin — Cheshbon HaNefesh, on Equanimity:“Be not disturbed by anything, whether it is something that befalls you suddenly or something that comes about gradually. Your equanimity should be so complete that your soul feels no vibration from the world’s winds, even when they blow fiercely. For the person of true equanimity has made a home for themselves in God.”

Question for personal reflection

▶  When you enter the silence of hitbodedut, what is the quality of what you encounter? Restlessness? Calm? Grief? Gratitude?

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